Parenting approaches shift over generations. The way you were raised may not be the way you choose to raise your own children. Societal beliefs and norms also evolve over time. Once recent trend has been for families to spend more time together. Newsweek explains this approach to parenting:
A "living room child" is the opposite to a bedroom child, one that usually plays and relaxes in their own room. A living room child feels comfortable enough to make their presence known throughout the home.
Dr. Martha Deiros Collado, a clinical psychologist, told Newsweek that being a living room child goes beyond the physical space. "It's also about how families accept and welcome children's play, their toys and personal items in communal living spaces rather than requesting that these are kept in their bedrooms or separate spaces," she said.
Being a living room child means your presence is seen and heard, as opposed to growing up in a family where you were expected to stay out of sight.
Jess Darrington, a mom of two from Idaho, first heard of the term via TikTok. The night before she watched the video, she told Newsweek she and her husband were complaining they weren't able to nab a free moment to themselves during the day because their kids love to be in the same room with them.
"But then after seeing that TikTok video explaining what it meant, it struck me that I was looking at my situation entirely upside down," she told Newsweek.
She was inspired to post her own video on social media and explained why she was glad that her children feel comfortable being in all spaces around the house. In the clip, her two children are laughing and playing in the living room, with some of their stuff across the floor and couch…
While there is no specific research to back up any developmental benefits because the concept is so new, Deiros Collado told Newsweek the psychological impact of feeling included in all areas of the home can be profound.
"Living room children are likely to feel more accepted and welcome in all areas of the home, rather than experiencing certain rooms as adult spaces vs child spaces," she said.
When families allow toys and games to be part of the living room's landscape, it "sends out a loud message that children are not mini adults. It communicates: children live here too and we let them take up as much space as adults do," she added.
This new term stands in contrast to the more traditional idea of children being expected to adapt to adult spaces without leaving a trace of their play. Dr. Deiros Collado said this shift is part of a broader movement by parents…
"Our homes are an extension of this and the idea that parents don't make accommodations for children feels old fashioned and dismissive of the value children and childhood bring into our lives and society," she told Newsweek.
Parents who grew up in a home where the only room that felt child-friendly or accepting of the things they enjoyed was their bedroom could have left them feeling excluded from family life, lonely or even under pressure to behave like mini adults in communal spaces in the house.
"It makes sense that if you felt any of this, you might want to give your child a different message; one that says, 'you are allowed to take up space in our home, it's yours too'," Deiros Collado said…
While this inclusive style of parenting may work well for younger children, Deiros Collado said as children grow older, their needs change and they are more likely to want private spaces away from the family more often.
"It's also about how as parent you allow your child to be seen and heard and give them the message that their thoughts and opinions have value, how they feel matters, and their interests are important. Children want most of all is to be accepted and understood for who they are," she said.
You can read the full article here.
There is no one size fits all approach to parenting. Every family dynamic is unique. You parenting approach may change as your family grows, or as your children do. It can help to have a number of techniques to try as you navigate the best approach for your family.